Friday, July 11, 2003

First Smoke-free Camping Trip

Went to our usual camping spot where most of the people we party with end up...and guess what? They all smoke. It didn`t matter whose campsite I visited...somebody was smoking. But that`s ok...that`s them after all. I was able to not only be around the smoking people, I was able to drink beer with them, and it didn`t bother me a bit. Why? Because I don`t smoke, that`s why. Hell, I was even able to stop the patches altogether. I kept forgetting to change them, and yesterday it fell off while I was swimming. I never bothered to put one back on, and it isn`t bothering me a bit. No craves, no nothing. I can safely say that I HAVE quit smoking for good. I`ve had my fair share of irritants over the last couple of months, and I know that smoking wouldn`t have made a single one of them better. I`ve realized that its okay to be sad, angry, disgusted, etc....but its not okay to smoke because of it. Smoking does nothing to help one deal with these emotions...all smoking does is stuff them down. And oh`ll kill ya to boot! I`d rather have someone be pissed off at me because I told them to screw off than to smoke my brains out and stew about how I shoulda told that idiot to screw off! lol I`ve pissed a few people off in the last two months, and I refuse to feel bad. I`ve apologized to the people that matter, and said TOUGH to the people that don`t. It`s amazing what you learn about yourself when you don`t have that smoke-plug in your mouth. I`ve learned that I used to take a whole lot of shit off people. I really used to give off the vibe that you could say anything to me, and it didn`t bother me. Well, guess again, world! I have an opinion and I`m no longer afraid to let it be known. The earth hasn`t caved in when I`ve told irritating people where to get off. I can`t imagine now why I thought it would. Learning how to be a non smoker is a bitch to start with, but really is empowering if you let it be.


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