Oh No...

I thought I was past these kind of craves at 73 days. I just got some really bad news....news bad enough to actually threaten my quit if I let it. My therapist died on the weekend. He was also a good friend, someone that helped me when I needed it the most. He was the one who convinced me that having a mental illness isn`t the end of the world. He convinced me that I had the right to speak up the same as everyone else, and that I shouldn`t be afraid to. He was a voice of reason in my life when very little in it made sense. I didn`t always listen to him...at least not right away...but when I fell on my butt, he never did the `I told you so` thing. He just shook his head and smiled, knowing I`d come around. I had too much at stake not to. He was probably the only decent therapist that I ever met...and I`ve met a few. I am saddened by Dennis` sudden passing, but I know that I can be sad without smoking. Smoking never, ever did anything good for me. I`ve already gotten through lots of tough things without smoking...I`ll get through this too.