Saturday, April 17, 2004

*Sigh*

This week SUCKS!!!!!! I'm already in a crap mood, and I have to go to Hayley's for dinner tonight. I'm kind of worried about her smoking, considering the urges I've been having. I don't think I'm stupid enough to actually try to bum a smoke off her, but I'm thinking that if I've been craving this bad when there are no smokes around....I'll REALLY be craving when there are. I doubt she'd give me one, anyway...she's always been supportive of my quit, even though one hasn't stuck for her yet. I can't let myself give in. Nothing is worth smoking over. I've gained so much over the past few months. Even in my gimpy condition, I can walk up hills without drawing a laboured breath. I sure couldn't say that a year ago. I don't want to be chained to a 4" tube of poison again. I really need to remember what life was like before I quit. I never want to go back there again. In less than a year I've been to 2 concerts, had 2 shopping sprees during which I blew an insane amount of cash, rented one hell of a sexy ride, stayed in a decent hotel, bought uncountable trinkets, shelled out big bucks for allowance...the list goes on and on. Our bills are paid for the first time EVER, and I'm finally able to get a credit card of my own. For the first time in my life, I'm not clinging to the poverty line to keep from falling into the abyss. Guess I'm middle class trash now! heheh

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