WTF Gives?!

Still in a rut. WTF is going on?!? I know full well that smoking would be a bad BAD idea, and I`m usually very content in my quit...so why is it on my mind so much? Frickin Nicodemon is pulling out all the stops since last week. I gotta ask myself something here.Do I really want to:

*choke my brains out every morning again?
*be scrounging for smoke money again?
*have to tell my kids that I can`t afford something that they need in order to have money to feed my demon?
*be out of breath after doing anything?
*smell like a dirty ashtray?
*fall asleep to the sound of myself wheezing?
*listen to my family perpetually coughing?
*face the disappointment of not just my family, but of myself?
*struggle to take a deep breath?
*lose the ability to buy whatever I, or anyone else in my family, needs...and not give it a second thought?

After listing all these questions...therefore having some time to think it over...the answer is.....HELL, NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!