Monday, February 28, 2005

Freedom Rules!

Well, pinkeye spared only Mickey and Kaitlyn. I had a raging case of it a week after the twins' cleared up...go figure. The past couple weeks have been just a royal stupid health thing after another. I had the distinct feeling that somebody, somewhere had a voodoo doll of me and was cackling maniacially as they slowly shoved HUGE pins in it. I'm telling ya, life couldn't have sucked harder if it tried...but I didn't smoke. No point. Smoking can't do anything for me. Sometimes things just go wrong and there's nothing you can do about it. Committing slow suicide isn't real likely to make it better. When you see smoking for what it really is...deadly...starting up again isn't an option. I think that the reason I no longer crave when things go south is because I no longer believe that smoking can give me anything good. It wasn't relaxing, it wasn't calming and it didn't taste good. In fact, for about the last 5 years that I smoked, all I could think about was quitting. I kicked myself with every drag. It took a long time, but I now realize that all smoking can give me is sickness and death...and I'm not ready for either.


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