Saturday, September 03, 2005

I Wish....

that I could rip the blinders of addiction off of the people that I care about. For example, my mom was talking about all the blood pressure meds and whatnot that she's had to take the past several years. I replied that I battled high BP before I quit smoking, and for the last 2 years, its been steady as a rock. Her answer to that was basically that she'd rather eat Lipitor twice a day. :~s

My brother had something like a six month quit under his belt recently....shot to hell in a night of drinking with his Navy buddies. He shrugs and goes "oh well...quitting's easy....I've done it lots." *sigh* Then there's my 17 y/o niece....I won't even go into that one, except to say that she's finally started smoking in front of me after 2 years. Every time she lit one last weekend, I wanted to rip it out of her face and stub it out in the middle of her forehead! lol

Why is it that I've held onto my quit come hell or high water? I used to have the least amount of willpower of anyone I knew. Everyone....absolutely everyone....expected me to cave a long time ago. I was pretty close last weekend....but I held on....lord knows how. Addiction is an insidious little bastid....he lies dormant for weeks, months, YEARS at a time....but the second he sees a chink in your armour....BAM!! He tries to worm his way in. I look at it this way, though....I'd much rather be an ex-smoker with an occasional desire for a sickarette, than a smoker who is chained to nicotine til the day I die.


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