Saturday, August 07, 2004

WTF Else Can Go Wrong?!

Matt arrived safe and sound yesterday, and so far doesn't seem real impressed with our little town. It's not like he's from a thriving metropolis or anything, but his city is significantly bigger than mine. His has about 80 000 people....mine has roughly 6500. LOL Hopefully he'll survive the 2 weeks without all the amenities he's used to. We don't even have a Tim Hortons or a Dairy Queen, for gawd sakes!! It's barbaric, I tell ya! LOL Good thing he likes camping.I ended up finally telling my brother to either grow up or crawl back under his rock. I received a rather offensive e-mail from him this morning, yet haven't seen hide nor hair of him since the day his buddy turned up at my house. That was it...I went nuclear. I don't think I'll be seeing him again for awhile...I told him pretty much what I've been venting here the last couple of days, and then some. I really wanted to talk to him in person, but if he's going to fire off ignorant e-mails to me and not even have the stones to come talk to me personally, then screw him. I've got quite the track record going here.....this is the third family member that I've told to grow up or get lost in less than a year and a half. First my sister, then her daughter, now my little brother. Wanda still doesn't want much to do with me, Alf for sure won't be speaking to me for a good long time...and CJ and I didn't speak for well over 6 months. I'm beyond giving a damn. I kept my mouth shut about everything for wayyyyyyyyy too long....I won't do it anymore. The sibs can think what they want about me...they always have, and always will. At least my niece and I have pretty much patched up our relationship. There are still days that I could just shake her senseless, but I chalk it up to her being 16 and being raised by a complete twit.With everything else that's been going on, I really didn't need another upset....but nevertheless, I got one and it's a gooder. moving over 500 miles away to live with a racist, homophobic control freak who lived here with her for 3 months, decided he didn't like it and hightailed it back home. I'm sorry, but if some man agreed to come live with me and then up and scrammed back home after 3 months without making a lick of effort to build a life here.....he could just stay scrammed, and I'd be staying put. I sure as hell wouldn't be following the butthead. Oh well...her life, her mistakes. If she wants to end up being some guy's piece of property, she can fly right at 'er. She knows that I think she's an idiot for doing this...I'm not gonna keep my mouth shut where she's concerned, either. That's probably one of the reasons she's been so distant. I think she liked me better when I didn't volunteer my opinion at all. Come to think of it, I think most people liked me better that way. It was like..."oh, we can say or do whatever we want to her...she won't mind...she never says anything to stop us, anyway.." Now that people don't get away with that crap with me anymore, they get all pissy and consider me a bitch. If being honest and standing up for myself makes me a bitch, then yeah, I am....and proud of it. It's about freakin time, too.

Late in evening....

Y'know, it's occured to me that more often than not, I write here when I'm angry or upset. It must not set a very good tone for a quit smoking site. LOL I think I should try to write more about the overall benefits of not smoking, and quit whining about how I want to smoke when I'm ticked off. About the only good thing I can think of about the whining is that it shows you that addiction doesn't just lies dormant, waiting for the right opportunity to pounce. Vigilence is key here, people...don't ever forget what addiction feels like. That's one of the things that's kept me from giving in lately....I remember all too well what life was like as a smoker. It sucked...sucked away my money, my health, my time, my energy...Anyway, from now on I'll try not to be on such a downer. I don't plan to regurgitate nothing but sweetness and light, or claim that everything's coming up roses, though. That's not my style. I just don't want to come across as some batshit lady who developed an anger management problem without her butts. LOL I'm not a raving psycho all the time, honest....the people in my life just make me that way occasionally!


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