Sunday, August 28, 2005

Good Dog

Here's a pic of my doggy at one of our favorite swimming spots. It's been my wallpaper for a month!

I'm A Bad Blogger!!

I have been horribly remiss in keeping this blog lately...holy! No excuse really, except that there hasn't been much to tell anyway. lol I've got some news now though...both good and not so good. The good news is that I'm back in the workforce for the first time in five years. I got the lifeguarding gig at the new aquatic centre. I went to my first staff meeting...called an "inservice training session"...this morning at 9. I do "shadow guarding" for 2 hrs morning and evening this week. I'm not actually scheduled or officially on duty, I just show up at my leisure and observe. My first scheduled shift is Sept. 6....for 8 hours right outta the starting gate. I've got 3 of those in a row...guess Kerrie thinks she'll make me or break me. lol I was hoping to just ease in, since I'm not real sure how my body will react to this. I guess I'll find out what I'm really made of.

Now for the not so good news. I was so nervous over this past week, obsessing over going back to work after so long, that I actually considered..........smoking! *GASP* Usually I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than smoke, but I gotta admit, Mom's smokes were smelling kinda good the other day. Today, after getting the initial staff meeting out of the way and relaxing a LOT, they smelled vile again. lol

It wasn't pretty, man. I was on the verge of a full blown anxiety attack for days, and I wanted numb it. I very nearly asked my mom for a smoke. I was almost positive she'd give me one. I think that's what kept me from asking....I knew she'd give it to me, and I knew I'd prolly light the fucker. Then before I knew it, I'd be toodling off to the store for my own pack. I played it all the way through, and I didn't much care for the conclusion. Friggin stress...I hates it. The up side is that I got through it. I said I'd never smoke a cigarette again, and I bloody well meant it.